Today I went to see my new doctor in the Philippines. He is a Chinese but he is very good.
I went to visit him today and asked him a few questions about my health and staying healthy in general. Because I heard before from some friends who recommended him, that the doctor speaks with a strong Chinese accent I recorded the conversation on my newly bought cell phone.
Here’s the transcript of the conversation:
Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it… Don’t waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two body, your ratio two to one.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain…good!
Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape!
Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
- google add
And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay or San Miguel in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”
AND…..
For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
- The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
- The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
- The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
- The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans…
- The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
I received this text by email today from a friend and decided to publish it here as a funny post. Do not take it serious !!
Nov 29, 2011 @ 00:19:19
I think this “hurry-up and get-ahead” American culture has become hazardous to one’s health.
Nov 29, 2011 @ 16:35:12
like I wrote: do not take it too serious
Nov 30, 2011 @ 01:36:59
I didn’t take it totally seriously. I think it’s hilarious. But I do think there’s some truth in it. Many cultures around the world are much different than that of America. Here [America], too many of us worry too much, coupled with working ourselves to death trying to get ahead. That was what I meant by the term “hurry-up and get-ahead” American culture.
Dec 29, 2011 @ 06:39:39
Hi Jan,
First let me introduce myself.
I’m Chris Wieling from the Netherlands (Emmen).Already a long time ago i found your website while searching things about the Philippines.From that moment on i sign in many times,cause for me:it’s a good site.
That hilarious conversation with your doctor makes me think of something.
On a certain moment,i was a young kid that time,my granfather was at our door with his suitcase in his hand,asking my mother,can i stay here for one night?Cos he had an argument with his landlord.
But he never went away and that one night became a couple of years hahaha.
Once the doctor came over to visit him and he told my mother,give that old man one or two beer in the evening,that way he will not become problems with urination.My mother was not amused,cos she was anti-alcohol,in contrast with my grandfathers face,a BIG smile.
What the doctor said was sacred those days,even for my mother.
Even so many years after i still hear my grandfathers voice asking my mother:
Hillie staat mijn biertje al koud?Hillie my beer cold already?
This moment i’m 63 and every evening i take 2 beers,cos the doctor said.
Kind regards and continue your blog this way Jan.
Chris
Dec 29, 2011 @ 08:38:23
Hi Chris,
Thanks for your comment. It’s a hilarious story what you told us.
Wish i had a doctor like that!!!
BTW, we have lived in Ter Apel before we moved to the Philippines. We know Emmen very well.
Dec 29, 2011 @ 10:37:14
Hi again Jan.
Pitty is that kind of doctors does’nt excist anymore.He was a kind as discribed by Toon Kortooms a dutch writer (help de dokter verzuipt)he allways was driving his motorcycle too,no matter what kind of weather. To be honest,i think my grandfather told the doctor what he had to tell my mother,you must know both of them had a great sence of humor.
But if you allow me to give you an advice Jan.
If you wanna laugh,visit your Chinese doctor,at the moment you will become serious problems with your health visit an other one.
Bye the way,i was in the Philippines oct.and nov.,i will be back again jan 3,this time for 4 months,Dagupan,Pangasinan province.
About Ter Apel,i know that place,my late wife was working there as a teacher.
Regards to you and your wife.
Chris
Dec 29, 2011 @ 18:04:30
Hi Chris,
Toon Kortooms was someone I grew up with. I am born close to the place he was born. And I know the Peel region.
Already a warm Welcome to the Philippines, have a lot of fun….
Mar 11, 2013 @ 00:19:02
Enjoyed the story “Hilly is my beer already cold” “